what to say?
so, i’m going to assume that there isn’t one of us unaffected by the tragedies in newtown last week. i doubt that i am alone in not exactly knowing what to say. i know i’m sad, grieving, i know i’m angry and maybe even a little afraid. my heart mourns for the victims and the multitude of lives ruined by the events at that elementary school. i hear the personal stories of bravery, and of parents choking out the words about their little ones lost. and i can’t even begin to fathom their pain. what i do know is that i feel it too — of course my sorrow can’t be compared, but it’s deeply heartfelt and i honestly had a difficult time blogging for you all this weekend. i mean, do i just show you stylish design and frivolous stuff? or do we talk about our pain and fear? i know you come here probably for a bit of an escape — exactly that — to see pretty things and take your mind off of all that frightens you or makes your heart ache. but i had to say something. i am personally having a hard time getting past this and moving on to holiday merriment. it seems false, it seems forced for me. but hey, i’ve never been one for the holidays anyway — i don’t have children and maybe that’s part of the problem. i need the distraction of their innocence and joy. i hope you’re all doing okay. i hope i haven’t said too much. i don’t even really know that i’ve said much of anything — i suppose i’m just acknowledging that i’m feeling this sadness and thinking of all of you, too.
there is still beauty in the world. some days it just takes us a little longer to find it.