thoughts for a friday.
hello, my trusty readers. happy friday. this post is going to be a bit more personal than i might usually get here, because there’s a topic that keeps coming up among some of my internet pals, fellow bloggers, and real-life friends. i think it warrants discussion, because there’s a trend out there that may, or may not, be really bumming you out. yes, you personally, and me. and lots of others. i don’t exactly know where to start, so i’m just going to run with my thoughts on this and see where we end up. what should i call this? it maybe should be entitled ‘i call bullshit’ — errrr, or since my mum is probably reading this let’s just call it ‘poppycock’! because while what’s going on out there in social media is very often truly quite fun and so inspiring — what we might wish for it to be in its best possible light — what is also going on is kind of a faux reality. and i think it’s making people feel badly. about themselves, their lives and about other people. and i’m hoping for a little clarity here today on my little slice of the internet.
so, here’s the thing i see and others i’ve been talking to are seeing too. i’m sure i’m not the first or will be the last to point this out, but life is not as perfect as it may appear in social media — on instagrams, pinterest or twitter or facebook. we are our own worst editors. predominantly, we’re not sharing the lousy days, or the piles of laundry, or mascara running down our faces because we’re sad, or lonely or just having a really crap day, week, or month. we’re putting out there this message that life is just so pretty and so perfect and here i am having yet another amazing time with all my many friends — lalalala. this is not reality. i mean, maybe it is for some, but it certainly isn’t always for me, and when i got talking to some other bloggers this week, i was enlightened to know i am not the only one feeling this way. social media is very often creating a faux reality that makes people feel really left out, and that’s not something i feel good about.
i don’t want to put out there this misconception that my life is all amazing margaritas and the best guacamole i’ve ever had, and the reason i don’t want to do this is because the last thing i want that image to do is to make you feel bad. to make you feel excluded, and i think often these images we share, whether they be in the form of a tweet, a facebook post or an instagram are doing exactly that – making other people feel left out and that their lives can’t match up. i don’t ever want to metophorically be the retouched person on the cover of a magazine making you feel like you can’t leave the house because you’ll never look like that. this is where i kinda call poppycock! — because while it may look like life is just one big party for everyone, it just can’t be.
my life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. it is, for the most part very, very good, yes, and there are lots of wonderful things in my life — some i’ve worked really hard for, and some that are simply the benefit of living in a beautiful place, and having some lovely friends. but there’s some not so ideal stuff, too. i am, as you may have recently read, going on 54 this year, and, oops, i forgot to get married. and i am not in a relationship. i was semi-engaged once and he broke up with me over the phone. i’ve had some really hurtful relationships and so now i don’t even bother. so there’s that – and that is a big one. so, often i feel like i don’t have someone special to share the happy stuff with, which sometimes makes the happy stuff kinda sad. and that blows. i spend a considerable amount of time alone, and sometimes i’m quite content with my own company, and sometimes not. i am only telling you this because i want to share something personal that will illuminate you about my life and hopefully, if i have ever made you feel left out in anyway, you will understand that i am often left out myself. i feel ya. i decided to be extra personal today, because i’m probably going to continue to post lots of pretty images on instagram and tweet the madcap, great sides of life — a party here or there, a lifestyle that includes sharing idyllic san francisco spaces — the good times. but i want you to remember when i share them, that they are just snapshots. they are not the whole picture. they are a slice of life that in that moment, yes, is quite lovely. but real life is just not always like that and these moments are fleeting. of course there are lots of crazy happy moments, i’m not saying they don’t exist, but it’s always a balance and i wanted to present that in an honest light.
anyway, i’m blathering on today but my point is — my hope is that i will never make you feel excluded because you’ve seen a brief joyous moment in time captured on my small portion of the internet. even though you probably rationally know this, if you’re feeling down it’s easy to forget that life is very often much more complicated than you could ever imagine. not just for me, but for all of us. i think most of us must battle something that’s not ideal, but there’s pressure to put out all this perfection. and don’t get me wrong, i love all the pretty pictures and i want to keep seeing them, but there are literally days when i don’t even want to be near the internet because i feel like i just can’t live up to it, or it makes me feel extremely left out. i thought you might be having days like this too, so i decided to share, to maybe put things in perspective. that is all — my true confessions and rambling rant is over, but if you feel like getting something about this off your chest, it’s now your turn. comment away.
thanks guys, and do have a beautiful weekend — in real life. xo, victoria