leaving my safe space.
by victoria comment


some days, not just mondays you want to bury your head under the covers and just glide under the guise of sleep a while longer — stay in our safe space. i felt like that all weekend. i don’t want to bury my head under the comfort of covers and ignore what’s happening in our country, but at the same time i find myself with a loss for the right words. i don’t know how to eloquently say how i’m feeling, but i also don’t want to ignore what’s going on not just in Charlottesville, but across our country. i want to acknowledge how much sadness, pain and dispair i feel and see around me and hope that we can collectively do better. we can’t let the ideology of white supremacy grow and fester — history shows us what happens when hate is allowed to spread unchecked. this weekend, Heather Heyer, who lost her life standing up to hatred in protest said it well in her last public facebook post, ‘If you aren’t outraged, you aren’t paying attention”. and my wise friend casey put it beautifully, and very succinctly: “love cannot win if we are not its warriors.” i’m supposed to share beauty here, not my personal views but to not say anything at all felt like taking this space for granted and insulting you, my intelligent, caring and thoughtful readers. so instead of sinking back into my safe space under the covers, i’m opting for small gestures and small actions to start with. i will not grow weary. i will fight with compassion and in solidarity. this morning i decided to linger in my imagination if just for a little while and discover some spaces invoking calm clear heads, and simpler times. find the love, friends and shout it out loud. crush the hate. xo, victoria

linen bedding in simple white bedroom. / sfgirlbybay modern bedroom with art on wall behind bed and gold wall light fixture. / sfgirlbybayinspiring simple bedrooms. / sfgirlbybaysimple modern bedroom decpr with white walls. / sfgirlbybaypale pink bedroom decor and furnishings. / sfgirlbybayinspiring bohemian modern bedroom decor. / sfgirlbybayall white bedroom with vintage bedside table and lamp. / sfgirlbybayinspiring simple bedroom decor. / sfgirlbybaywhite bedroom with pops of blue decor. / sfgirlbybayinspiring simple bedroom decor with floral paintings and industrial hanging light fixture. / sfgirlbybay

• photography credits in order of appearance: @tessahop; fantastic frank; once wed; anona studio; miluccia; stardust; caminario; light locations; nicole franzen photography; sincerely kinsey; @sarcuz; Brigid Arnott photography for Country Style Magazine; architectural digest espana; the sydney morning herald.



47 responses to “leaving my safe space.”

  1. Thank you Victoria for leaving that safe space and for being a warrior for love. I too am terribly sad, upset and frightened about the state we’re in. Let’s keep fighting for good. And keep on sharing your thoughts.

  2. Thanks for sharing. While I feel helpless to change attitudes, and postures that are harmful and hurting people, I have realized I do have an impact in my own sphere, with my children, grandchildren, and community. One relationship at a time, showing love, compassion, and reaching out to others daily spreading these attitudes. We can all make a difference.

  3. Beautifully said! Find the love, friends and shout it out loud. Crush the hate. That is the part I want to memorize and share. If you ever decide to do a print with that quote I will definitely buy it. Because those are the words we need to remind ourselves with every day.

  4. You wouldn’t have such an amazing blog if you didn’t feel both the beautiful and the ugly side of the world. That’s what being sensitive is all about. Try jw.org website for answers and comfort,it’s life changing.

  5. Well said. You have shared the thoughts of us all. I feel like we are living in an alternate reality (cue Twilight Zone theme). Thank you for your great blog…I’m a longtime ‘stalker’!

  6. Jumbled words fill my head. Thank you for helping me sort through and organize them. Such beautiful words…

  7. Thanks for letting me know that I’m not the only one who just wants to pull the covers over my head and pretend none of this is happening. I have been doing my best to soldier on through these difficult times, but things keep getting worse. Crushing anything is kinda beyond me at seventy, but maybe I can love all this hate to death. We have to keep letting kindness and love guide our path.

  8. Dear Victoria,
    Love to you. I will never forget Heather and her words. I have the greatest of respect for everyone who was there to show their disgust and opposition, to show they believe in love and equality. Right now my heart is heavy, I feel crushed, broken and insecure but strength will come & I pledge to be a warrior for love and justice.
    Kim x

  9. Thank you for speaking out against hatred. White supremacy in America is a cancer on society – it must be exposed and dealt with.

  10. Amen, VIctoria. I am surviving through righteous anger and action, sharing time and space with like-minded friends and family, and practicing mindfulness and self-care. This last includes
    looking at your beautiful blog each day for soothing and inspiration.
    Thank You.

  11. Thank you for speaking out, Victoria.
    We’re all feeling as you describe…it’s horrific what is happening in our country. Don’t hesitate to speak your mind and be the light that we all need!

  12. I have followed your site for a long time and it has always really appealed to me. Today when you spoke about how you felt, I realized that I have always enjoyed your collections of places because they express feelings. Most of them do not feel decorated, but just expressions of life all over the globe. I wonder if you know how much you add to and help one become more consciousness
    though the images you show? thanks.

  13. Thank you. We must pray for the haters. To melt their cold hearts and open their eyes. What an absolute waste of time and energy to be so full of craziness. They are missing the beauty of our world.

  14. thank you – as a young queer person of color i’ve been disappointed though maybe not entirely surprised by how many of the people i’ve admired & looked up to have stayed totally silent on what’s been going on; i’m glad to see that’s not the case here.

    • thank you so much, elisa. i’m never quite sure how to address all the issues these days, but the injustice i see right now just can’t be ignored. be strong! there’s more good people with you than you can know. xo

  15. A huge thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts and opinion on the crazy current state-of-affairs! It means alot! We all need to take a stand and share how we feel—even if it’s to our families and coworkers.

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